Tag: Abigail
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Baby Explains Recent Misbehavior
Asked recently about her apparent unwillingness to cooperate or to act according to her parents’ wishes, Abigail Moore explained, “I don’t really listen to them. I pretty much do whatever I want.” Pressed for additional details, Abigail continued, “look… they have their agenda and I have my agenda. Sometimes our goals synch up, but often…
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Better Walking Evidence
Since Jim expressed doubt over the earlier Zapruder films, here is a marginally better one. One of these days we’ll film during the day and not in front of a lamp.
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Some Abby Walking!
These are a little dark, but they’re undeniable evidence that Abby is now a walker! Don’t down your bottle and then try to walk!
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Winter currently sucks!
White stuff is cold. Can’t move in this damn suit. Can’t see in this damn hat. Parents are laughing at me. This is why I bite.
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Abby Beta Tests Halloween Outfit!
In a move surely designed to antagonize Hogan, Abby “chose” to be a tiger for Halloween. More troubling, Abby then “decided” to try on her furry outfit and to parade in front of the Rhodesian Ridgeback as he dozed on his leather lounger. Hogan did not, however, leap off the couch and try to corner…
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The full-proof Abigail System Revealed!
My mother and father currently have barely 50% of their football picks correct so far this NFL season. That’s not impressive. My grandmother is under .500 for her picks. That’s even worse! What these amateurs need is a viable, proven system for handicapping teams, but instead they rely on senseless data like “which team has…
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STFD! versus GTFO!? There can be only one!
STFD! was incomplete and outplayed this week at Tin Whistle Trivia. We offer no excuses; we do offer an explanation. Since the Silbergleit Summer Carnival pulled up its tent pegs and hoofed it out of town, we expected fewer/weaker competitors and we handicapped our varsity team accordingly. Our magnanimous, parity-seeking actions (we left both Abigail…
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Abigail Care made easy!
I love to visit my Great Aunts, Great Uncles, Grandparents, close family friends, and kindly strangers, since my parents often abandon me with little or no warning. Many of you may wonder, “isn’t it extremely difficult to care for Abigail?” Nahh… it’s a piece of cake for a baby as easy-going as I am! What…
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Abby and Max take Grandma to the beach!
Nancy really wanted to go to the beach, so Abby and Max made a deal with her. If Grandma would make them bottles, feed them watermelon, cheerios and peaches, pack up a selection of rattling toys, change their traditional diapers to swim diapers and then their swim diapers back to traditional diapers, lacquer them head…
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Abby Statistics, Graphs, and Earnings Outlook!
Here are the latest measurements: Age: 8.7 months Height: 26 inches Height percentile: 11 Weight: 14lbs 9ounces Weight percentile: 2 Weight for height %: 11 Head Circumference: 41.5cm Head Circumference percentile: 3 BMI: 15.2 As you can see from the chart above, Abigail Inc. continues to see a negative earnings flow, and we anticipate a…
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A Regrettable Miscommunication
Here at Moorezilla LLC we try moderately hard to produce an entertaining blog for a wide-range of attention spans and tastes. Occasionally we may cross lines of appropriateness and taste in our efforts to amuse the jaded members of our audience, and we are cognizant that we perilously run the risk of offending at times…
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Justice Served!
Captured on the crawl and summarily convicted of tiredness, obstreperousness, and second-degree crankiness, Abigail Moore is hereby sentenced to serve a nap of 55 minutes with eligibility for parole after 30 minutes of good… or at least relatively quiet… behavior.
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Abby’s Blog Nominated for Top2B Award!
Mr. Hubert Wimberly of Top2B Awards writes, “congratulations, Abigail, on your Top2B nomination. There are over 3 billion blogs out there and yours now has a legitimate chance of being in the top two! Our panel of judges will compile the final voting results in December and notify you of your final rank for 2009.”…
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On Flirting
Wednesday is Prince spaghetti night, a common event distinguished by easy dishes, gluttonous portions, and simple thoughts. Nancy invaded my Prince spaghetti night by appearing in my kitchen, holding my 6 month-old daughter in her arms, and delivering me the nightmare kōan: “are babies capable of flirting?” After delivering this incendiary query, she handed back…
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Monthly Recap for Busy Readers!
Too much going on for full blog perusal? No problem, fair reader! Try our new digest version:
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Abby’s Book Reviews: Katurpiller Glutton Dies!
Mom reads me books over and over and over again. I like hearing the same book read to me, because I often fall asleep and miss parts. Depending upon how full my belly is, it can take me several nights to get through a whole story. One book Mom reads is about a katurpiller. I’ve…
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On the sorry state of solid food so far…
A dark day it was when mother’s milk gave way to cursed Enfamil, but the sweetness of the early days softened somewhat the blow of the ill-powdered bottle. I had heard promising stories of the “cereal phase,” so I gamely put up with the foul formula in anticipation of fare more suitable to my discriminating…
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Abby Simpsonized!
With her rapier-sharp wit, babylicious looks, and undeniable fashion sense, it was only a matter of time before Abigail was tapped out to appear on an upcoming episode of the long-running Simpsons. Don’t miss her this coming Sunday when she guest stars with that stupid punk baby (sorry! We forgot his name!) that got the…
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Stop listening to Ragnar Olegård!
The pro-baby bjorn lobby is strong. It’s tough to go too far on a sunny day without seeing some yuppie couple slinging around a little person in one of those fake marsupial pouches. The problem is, however, that if you’re less than 6 months old, your view from the baby bjorn is as bad as…
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And it’s Abigail by the fur of a hood!
If you tuned in early for the Baby Crawl by the Bay races, you witnessed Abigail’s complete dominance of the 5 meter freestyle belly, a race she won by two lengths. Max proved himself a gamer, however, with a great showing in the 5 meter back crawl — pictured above and no doubt the cover…
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Symbiosis
Ok, my little friend, here’s how this works. You sit there and scratch my back, and while you’re scratching my back, I’ll clean the food off your face. This is symbiosis! This is teamwork! Think of the opportunities when you are trapped in your high chair faced with the task of eating far too many…