Tag: Moore
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STFD! versus GTFO!? There can be only one!
STFD! was incomplete and outplayed this week at Tin Whistle Trivia. We offer no excuses; we do offer an explanation. Since the Silbergleit Summer Carnival pulled up its tent pegs and hoofed it out of town, we expected fewer/weaker competitors and we handicapped our varsity team accordingly. Our magnanimous, parity-seeking actions (we left both Abigail…
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STFD!’s latest victory has many whispering the “D” word
They said it when Warren Remedy won her third best-in-show, they said it about the Carringtons when Alexis showed up in a Denver courthouse, they said it when the Patriots lifted their third Lombardi trophy, and now they’re saying it about a formidable group of triviateurs dominating Thursdays at The Tin Whistle. Is Shut The…
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Wolverine-powered Header win on tap?
Since a Harvard-educated team member has proven insufficient to topple the juggernaut that was STFD! and is “The Trivia Team to be Named Later,” The Headers are now reaching out to Michigan alumni (just as the Sith reached out to young Anakin Skywalker) to aid their trivial cause. Oh no! I hope there’s not a…
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Jacksonian 20 Dollar “Damn You, Kenny!” Dirge
(Sung to the tune of any major musical but Oklahoma!) I used to live in Kenny’s pocket, But now ride a different hip! No one told me it was down on the docket, My move to Moore’s tight money clip! I used to hang with kite-flying Bennies! I used to live with Ulysses S. Grants,…
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Blogwall of Shame #1
We may be misers when it comes to praise, but here at Moorezilla LLC we are quite generous when it comes to illuminating flaws, shortcomings, and other imperfections. At times, our righteous vitriol rises quicker than the water levels in Zion National Park during a thunderstorm, so we’ve adopted the bullet point emergency shame list…
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STFD! opens the mailbag and closes a chapter…
With our fourth consecutive victory, it’s time for Shut The Front Door! to answer a little fanmail. We like getting fanmail, but it’s laborious to answer it, and if we answer it at all, it will only be through electronic media. When the Tin Whistle trivia people ask how much a stamp costs, we will…
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Churn, baby, churn!
Part I of a IV part spirited defense of nature’s second greatest grease! Writing a defense of butter is in some ways akin to sticking up for the 1927 New York Yankees, the 1986 Chicago Bears, or the Mossad; none of them really need any help taking care of themselves, but once in a while…
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Shut The Front Door! memorabilia beckons…
With three consecutive victories and counting, it’s time for Shut The Front Door! to shamelessly cash in on our marginal celebrity status. We still have plenty of baby onesies left in 0 to 9 month sizes, but avid collectors need to move fast to secure one of our VERY limited edition “Freddie Mercury Knows that…
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Joanie Implicated!
It’s never a comfortable situation when family members face indictment, but recently surfaced psychoanalytical art evidence suggests Silbergleit foul play in the death of Emily’s undeniably ugly, yet once functional designer sunglasses. In Exhibit #1 we see what appears to be an innocuous, demi-nouveau, pastoral/expressionist/dadaish, chair-in-the-wayish scene that Joanie is well-known for producing. The style…
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STFD! Slams Door on would-be rivals… AGAIN!
We might not know what Vanilla Ice’s real name is (and we’re secretly proud of this fact!), we might not know that chicken moves more salmonella annually than hamburger (well… we did know that but we have to overrule Rachel at least once per night even if it costs us points!), we might not know…
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Abby Statistics, Graphs, and Earnings Outlook!
Here are the latest measurements: Age: 8.7 months Height: 26 inches Height percentile: 11 Weight: 14lbs 9ounces Weight percentile: 2 Weight for height %: 11 Head Circumference: 41.5cm Head Circumference percentile: 3 BMI: 15.2 As you can see from the chart above, Abigail Inc. continues to see a negative earnings flow, and we anticipate a…
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Trivial Victory at The Tin Whistle!
It took us a couple of weeks and three name changes to get it right, but under our new team name and extended roster we are undefeated, unchallenged, undisputed masters of the trivial. Important things we’ve learned so far include: Redd Foxx is not Red Skelton, Dr. Pepper is older than Mr. Coke, Frankfurt is…
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On Flirting
Wednesday is Prince spaghetti night, a common event distinguished by easy dishes, gluttonous portions, and simple thoughts. Nancy invaded my Prince spaghetti night by appearing in my kitchen, holding my 6 month-old daughter in her arms, and delivering me the nightmare kōan: “are babies capable of flirting?” After delivering this incendiary query, she handed back…
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Monthly Recap for Busy Readers!
Too much going on for full blog perusal? No problem, fair reader! Try our new digest version:
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Stop listening to Ragnar Olegård!
The pro-baby bjorn lobby is strong. It’s tough to go too far on a sunny day without seeing some yuppie couple slinging around a little person in one of those fake marsupial pouches. The problem is, however, that if you’re less than 6 months old, your view from the baby bjorn is as bad as…
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And it’s Abigail by the fur of a hood!
If you tuned in early for the Baby Crawl by the Bay races, you witnessed Abigail’s complete dominance of the 5 meter freestyle belly, a race she won by two lengths. Max proved himself a gamer, however, with a great showing in the 5 meter back crawl — pictured above and no doubt the cover…
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Photo shoot fight…
Until very recently we’ve only had one model for all of our photo shoots, and his name is Hogan. Now that Abigail has arrived, Hogan has been grudgingly gracious when it comes to sharing camera time, but we were bound to have an incident eventually. On Saturday, we took Hogan down to the little league…
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Abigail visits the NICU… shows off weight gain!
As many of you probably know by now, Abigail escaped the womb early in order to take full advantage of the excellent NICU spa treatment offered at Salem Hospital. Over the course of her nine day resort vacation, Abigail lounged under blue ray tanning lights, enjoyed regular sea salt sponge baths, and wiled her minutes…
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Baby Bauble Deconstruction #1
Many new parents try to keep the floor and their new infant separated by towels, blankets, or reasonably clean newspaper. Having infants on the floor is, ironically enough, comforting to new parents, since one of the recurring nightmares new parents face is the vision of their child falling from any of the myriad of high…
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Welcome to midnight!
Sleep? Sleep, friends, is for when it’s light outside! Those wide open, unblinking shark eyes assure you that when it’s dark outside it’s wakey wakey scream and shaky! What does approximately five and a half pounds of milk-drunk hyperactive Mooreling look like at the first minute of the spanking new day? Umm… she looks like…
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Abigail’s First Post
My name is Abigail Jane and I was born at 1:32PM on Saturday, November 15 at Salem Hospital! I was 18 and 3/4 inches long and weighed 4 pounds 12 ounces, and I didn’t want to miss any of my first New England winter. I also couldn’t stand the fact that some guy named Hogan…