Moorezilla

Abby discovers the power (and limitation) of literacy

February 9, 2016 By Andrew Moore

Abby’s homework early in the year was dominated by mathematics, but lately Bell Elementary has been focusing increasingly on reading and writing. This offers us an opportunity to observe a concrete, practical application of the liberal arts side of public education, as Abby harnesses painstakingly-crafted, threatening notes taped to toys in a well-calculated attempt to exert her Sith-leaning will over Jackson. The dark side is indeed strong in Abby; it’s just too bad Jackson doesn’t read. Jackson simply removed this pesky note from Imperial star destroyer and retaped it as a warning on the paisley tuffet.

The literate side of the force may be powerful, but never… ever underestimate the unyielding, blissful ignorance of the illiterate side of the force.

Touch not, brother... touch not. — Touch not, foolish brother… touch not.

Demonio Rojo Complicates Elf on the Shelf

December 23, 2015 By Andrew Moore

Chippy, our Elf on the Shelf, may have the commuting magic necessary to visit the northern fat guy nightly and the extortive powers to keep small people marginally well-behaved for a couple weeks each holiday season, but he’s apparently no match for Demonio Rojo, a washed up Lucha Libre wrestler from Tijuana. Demonio ended up in our Marblehead house after a drunken holiday binge in Salem; it’s unclear how long he intends to stay.

wrestlerelf — That’s my shelf now, biznitch!

Moores versus Trees

December 12, 2015 By Andrew Moore

Having a cord of firewood delivered last year was just the beginning; this year we’ve really stepped up our assault on New England’s remaining forests. The family that stalks, corners, and saws down its Christmas tree together is the family that stays together! Keeping the anti-arbor sentiment rolling, we even managed to get the giant tree removed from our backyard.