Category: Jackson
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Jackson emails Santa
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2012 15:37:36 -0500 To: santa@northpole.com From: Jackson Moore <jman@destructionchaos.org> Subject: Whistleblower Protection ————————————————- Hi Santa, Sorry to email at what must be a particularly busy time of year for you and the tiny northern Foxconn elves, but I feel the need to bring certain developments to your attention in order to…
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2012 Toy of the Year
This year’s Toy of the Year* award goes to the Elf on the Shelf. Congratulations, pragmatic hunk of felt and plastic, you avoided the recycle bin for another year and won our praise, but beware the fickle apostasy of little believers! The ice thins quickly as Abby ages beyond four. In case you’re not familiar…
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Entering the Jacksonian Era
Now that a year has passed since Jackson moved in with us, differences between Jackson and Abigail are becoming apparent even to the casual observer. Whereas Abigail tends to build things (or mandate that her parents construct things for her), Jackson tends to knock things down. Whereas Abigail sees little use for food or drink,…
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Liger Moore
I asked Jackson to give me a sign that his athletic prowess would be sufficient for him to scholarship himself through college without any parental financial aid. The following still shots provided just the confidence I needed to cash in his nascent 529 Plan and book a trip back to Jamaica! Thanks, little buddy. Can’t…
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Adults at our house = FAIL!
With a combined weight of less than 50 pounds, you’d think that a 3-month-old and a 3-year-old would be no match for their larger, presumably experienced parent(s). You’d think that, but you’d be wrong. We are now in little more than a controlled retreat until we can coax these malevolent beasts out of our house.
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On the first day of functional Christmas…
Every once in a while you see a product and say to yourself, “damn… I’m an idiot. Why didn’t I think of, develop, market, and sell this? I could have been rich. I could be playing golf in a warm climate right now. I could be bitching about Obama visiting and screwing up the traffic…
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Another toy arrives!
One of the best things about the soon-to-be bankrupt U.S. mail is that its uneven service works wonders for spreading out your birthday gifts. If your birthday is… say… on the 15th, and you have friends and relatives that live more than a state away, you can bank on getting presents in the mail until…