Category: General Mooredom
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Joanie Implicated!
It’s never a comfortable situation when family members face indictment, but recently surfaced psychoanalytical art evidence suggests Silbergleit foul play in the death of Emily’s undeniably ugly, yet once functional designer sunglasses. In Exhibit #1 we see what appears to be an innocuous, demi-nouveau, pastoral/expressionist/dadaish, chair-in-the-wayish scene that Joanie is well-known for producing. The style…
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STFD! Slams Door on would-be rivals… AGAIN!
We might not know what Vanilla Ice’s real name is (and we’re secretly proud of this fact!), we might not know that chicken moves more salmonella annually than hamburger (well… we did know that but we have to overrule Rachel at least once per night even if it costs us points!), we might not know…
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Abby Statistics, Graphs, and Earnings Outlook!
Here are the latest measurements: Age: 8.7 months Height: 26 inches Height percentile: 11 Weight: 14lbs 9ounces Weight percentile: 2 Weight for height %: 11 Head Circumference: 41.5cm Head Circumference percentile: 3 BMI: 15.2 As you can see from the chart above, Abigail Inc. continues to see a negative earnings flow, and we anticipate a…
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Trivial Victory at The Tin Whistle!
It took us a couple of weeks and three name changes to get it right, but under our new team name and extended roster we are undefeated, unchallenged, undisputed masters of the trivial. Important things we’ve learned so far include: Redd Foxx is not Red Skelton, Dr. Pepper is older than Mr. Coke, Frankfurt is…
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Abby’s Blog Nominated for Top2B Award!
Mr. Hubert Wimberly of Top2B Awards writes, “congratulations, Abigail, on your Top2B nomination. There are over 3 billion blogs out there and yours now has a legitimate chance of being in the top two! Our panel of judges will compile the final voting results in December and notify you of your final rank for 2009.”…
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On Flirting
Wednesday is Prince spaghetti night, a common event distinguished by easy dishes, gluttonous portions, and simple thoughts. Nancy invaded my Prince spaghetti night by appearing in my kitchen, holding my 6 month-old daughter in her arms, and delivering me the nightmare kōan: “are babies capable of flirting?” After delivering this incendiary query, she handed back…
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Monthly Recap for Busy Readers!
Too much going on for full blog perusal? No problem, fair reader! Try our new digest version:
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On the sorry state of solid food so far…
A dark day it was when mother’s milk gave way to cursed Enfamil, but the sweetness of the early days softened somewhat the blow of the ill-powdered bottle. I had heard promising stories of the “cereal phase,” so I gamely put up with the foul formula in anticipation of fare more suitable to my discriminating…
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Abby Simpsonized!
With her rapier-sharp wit, babylicious looks, and undeniable fashion sense, it was only a matter of time before Abigail was tapped out to appear on an upcoming episode of the long-running Simpsons. Don’t miss her this coming Sunday when she guest stars with that stupid punk baby (sorry! We forgot his name!) that got the…
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And it’s Abigail by the fur of a hood!
If you tuned in early for the Baby Crawl by the Bay races, you witnessed Abigail’s complete dominance of the 5 meter freestyle belly, a race she won by two lengths. Max proved himself a gamer, however, with a great showing in the 5 meter back crawl — pictured above and no doubt the cover…
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Baby Bauble Deconstruction #1
Many new parents try to keep the floor and their new infant separated by towels, blankets, or reasonably clean newspaper. Having infants on the floor is, ironically enough, comforting to new parents, since one of the recurring nightmares new parents face is the vision of their child falling from any of the myriad of high…
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Ridiculously small child hanging with ridiculously large dog
We’re all about balance, bed time, and “fang” shui these days. Here we see ridiculously large Hogan hanging with ridiculously small Abigail chaperoned by ridiculously small medium-sized Emily. Perhaps hidden to the casual viewer of this picture is the great chain of exercise. Hogan does absolutely nothing, but as you can see, he is utterly…