Many people wondered what the Grand Old Party Elephant would do once Obama and the other Donkeys held on to the White House. No worries… with a modicum of personal responsibility, a smidge of small business savvy, and an abundance of hot air, the elephant has already found rewarding employment.
- Time to assemble: 5 hours, 23 minutes.
- Missing parts: honest instructions, 3 screws, 7 AAA batteries, 4 gin martinis, and 1 properly-sized allen wrench.
- Number of Chinese factory workers laughing their asses off at me: at least 1.
- Time until first child fist fight over a train: 18 minutes.
- Time until second child fist fight over a train: 49 minutes.
- Time Abby managed to stay up past her normal bedtime: 1 hour, 17 minutes.
- Chance of another birthday party at our house… ever: a solid 14 percent. Jackson might get one… but only when he turns one. Enjoy the photographic evidence.