Birthday train table assembly recap

Proper assembly requires proper tools
  • Time to assemble: 5 hours, 23 minutes.
  • Missing parts: honest instructions, 3 screws, 7 AAA batteries, 4 gin martinis, and 1 properly-sized allen wrench.
  • Number of Chinese factory workers laughing their asses off at me: at least 1.
  • Time until first child fist fight over a train: 18 minutes.
  • Time until second child fist fight over a train: 49 minutes.
  • Time Abby managed to stay up past her normal bedtime: 1 hour, 17 minutes.
  • Chance of another birthday party at our house… ever: a solid 14 percent. Jackson might get one… but only when he turns one. Enjoy the photographic evidence.