{"id":324,"date":"2009-03-08T08:01:18","date_gmt":"2009-03-08T13:01:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/?p=324"},"modified":"2009-03-08T09:50:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-08T14:50:00","slug":"stop-listening-to-ragnar-olegard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/stop-listening-to-ragnar-olegard\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop listening to Ragnar Oleg\u00e5rd!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The pro-baby bjorn lobby is strong. It\u2019s tough to go too far on a sunny day without seeing some yuppie couple slinging around a little person in one of those fake marsupial pouches. The problem is, however, that if you\u2019re less than 6 months old, your view from the baby bjorn is as bad as any sled husky rearward of the lead dog. All you see is a non-stop commercial for Adirondack<\/em>, North Face<\/em>, or some other over-priced fleece product.<\/p>\n

\"Day<\/a>
Day at the beach? You tell me. I didn't see crap!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So Ragnar writes:<\/p>\n

\u201cEver since the 1970s, study after study has shown the importance of early eye-to-eye contact, of close bodily contact between parents and their new-born babies or infants. Blah blah blah\u2026 The baby bjorn facilitates this like no other product.\u201d – Ragnar Oleg\u00e5rd<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Maybe so! Maybe the bjorn is the best thing since disposable diapers, but this crazy bjorn-pimping Swede is costing us little people a wealth of visual stimulation.<\/p>\n

Over there I\u2019m with my Mom, my Dad, and my 2nd cousin and they\u2019re enjoying the view from Lighthouse Beach. What am I staring at? You guessed it: a Champion<\/em> jacket logo. Thanks for the ride, Captain Kangaroo, but I might as well have stayed at home sucking on a bottle, since craning my neck just brings the zipper into view.<\/p>\n

\"Manny<\/a>
Manny being Manny? I'll take your word for it...<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And I\u2019m not really one to complain for no reason! It\u2019s not like I\u2019m picking a fight here, but look at some of the other things I\u2019ve missed due to this stupid baby-carrying contraption!<\/p>\n

Here I am in Fenway park the last time Manny Ramirez showed up to play left field. Great seats, jackass! Mortgage my college fund to get them? I don’t suppose the breastaurant is open?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s bad enough to miss the entire game, but how would you also<\/strong> like to be crushed into a hodge podge of peanut shells, mustard, cheap beer, and whatever else this slob pours down the front of him during a four and a half hour game?<\/p>\n

Here we are on a family trip to Europe. Same freaking deal! Paris in Spring is really no different than Peabody in Spring if you tour the continent in an f’n bjorn.<\/p>\n

\"Merde!<\/a>
Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Allez-vous en!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So you might want to think about using the stroller once in a while. Sure, it’s a little less convenient and you have to hose down the tires when one of you absent-mindedly runs it through the fresh dog poo on the sidewalk. But isn’t that better than every exciting event and cultural scene appearing behind your baby’s back?<\/p>\n

\"Ooooh...<\/a>
Ooooh... pahoehoe! Enjoy that ham and pineapple pizza.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The pro-baby bjorn lobby is strong. It\u2019s tough to go too far on a sunny day without seeing some yuppie couple slinging around a little person in one of those fake marsupial pouches. The problem is, however, that if you\u2019re less than 6 months old, your view from the baby bjorn is as bad as … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[188,23,25],"class_list":["post-324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-abigail","tag-abigail","tag-moore","tag-rooks"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=324"}],"version-history":[{"count":41,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":370,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions\/370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}