{"id":1214,"date":"2010-04-15T16:04:10","date_gmt":"2010-04-15T20:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/?p=1214"},"modified":"2010-04-17T07:59:27","modified_gmt":"2010-04-17T11:59:27","slug":"joanie-phone-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/joanie-phone-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Joanie Phone Home!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"phone\"<\/a>
Artist's drawing of Joanie's ideal phone.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Pretty much everyone except Matt H now realizes that the Android operating system is the best platform for a mobile phone, but getting the right phone is just the beginning. Joanie, like much of the Generation V demographic, still needs a little help parenting her new Droid<\/em>. In the hopes that it will be of use to others, here’s the transcript of our latest smart phone discussion.<\/p>\n

Joanie: wow… the iPhone truly does suck but the <\/span>Motorola Droid<\/span><\/em> does so damn much! I hate overachievers! Simmer down, you crazy phone of doing stuff!<\/span><\/p>\n

Andy: just keep deleting apps until all it does is sit like a brick on an end table.<\/p>\n

Joanie: this thing has GPS? I’m not sure I want my phone knowing where I am all the time. What if I pick up another phone and the <\/span>Droid<\/span><\/em> asks me about it later? Sometimes I’m tempted to fondle the pink iPhones, but now my <\/span>Droid<\/span><\/em> could ask me in its little <\/span>Droid<\/span><\/em> voice, “why were you in the <\/span>Apple Store<\/span><\/em>? When did you stop loving me?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Andy: you can turn the Droid<\/em> off… or… you could turn it AND the iPhone on by holding both phones to either ear at once! Remember… Droid<\/em> does, so “no” always means “yes” for the Droid<\/em>. If you let an iPhone<\/em> and a Droid<\/em> mate, the iPhone<\/em> gives birth to a little V baby<\/a> handheld… kind of a Blackberry<\/em> with an alien tail.<\/p>\n

Joanie: the <\/span>Droid’s<\/span><\/em> font is soooo tiny! Tee Hee! It’s got a little teeny tiny font!<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Remember... iPhones are for babies!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Andy: probably don’t want to embarrass your phone like that or it might start faking incoming calls on you. It’s not the size of the font that matters; it’s the quality of the connection!<\/p>\n

Joanie: I live in New York. Could smartphones be too difficult for me?<\/span><\/p>\n

Andy: it’s quite possible.<\/p>\n

Joanie: hey! There’s an opening in <\/span>Verizon<\/span><\/em> <\/span>University’s<\/span><\/em> 12-step <\/span>Fundamentals of Texting<\/span><\/em> class! I’m signing up!<\/span><\/p>\n

Andy: sweet! Let me know if you need a sponsor.<\/p>\n

Joanie: Kenny and I want to buy one of those new-fangled 4-slot toasters. Want to come with us to <\/span>Bradlees<\/span><\/em> to pick one out?<\/span><\/p>\n

Andy: ummm… Bradlees<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Joanie: yeah… the department store in Manhattan; it’s right down the block from <\/span>Socrates’ Retreat<\/span><\/em>!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pretty much everyone except Matt H now realizes that the Android operating system is the best platform for a mobile phone, but getting the right phone is just the beginning. Joanie, like much of the Generation V demographic, still needs a little help parenting her new Droid. In the hopes that it will be of … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[70,71,69,22],"class_list":["post-1214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-genmoore","tag-droid","tag-iphone-sucks","tag-joanie","tag-silbergleit"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1214"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1243,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1214\/revisions\/1243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moorezilla.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}