Demonio Rojo Complicates Elf on the Shelf

Chippy, our Elf on the Shelf, may have the commuting magic necessary to visit the northern fat guy nightly and the extortive powers to keep small people marginally well-behaved for a couple weeks each holiday season, but he’s apparently no match for Demonio Rojo, a washed up Lucha Libre wrestler from Tijuana. Demonio ended up in our Marblehead house after a drunken holiday binge in Salem; it’s unclear how long he intends to stay.

That’s my shelf now, biznitch!