I'll be editing rough drafts from now on!

Here at Moorezilla LLC we try moderately hard to produce an entertaining blog for a wide-range of attention spans and tastes. Occasionally we may cross lines of appropriateness and taste in our efforts to amuse the jaded members of our audience, and we are cognizant that we perilously run the risk of offending at times our readers maintaining more delicate, refined sensibilities.

When we do stray from the middle road of safety and moderation, our readers quickly put us back in our place. Our recent post, “Justice Served!” elicited a strong reaction from both admirers and detractors… and from spam bots as well for that matter! As examples:

Heather Barbarie commented, “…furthermore, taking a picture of your screaming, obviously traumatized child rather than comforting him is both sick and twisted.”

Abbyalcatraz

Thanks for your feedback, Heather! We’ll stop taking pictures of crying babies if YOU stop calling our daughter a HIM! We’ve had enough of your weaponized pronouns crushing our baby’s psyche.

Bill Munny wrote, “it’s nice to see parents dipping their toes into the polar waters of discipline. Your daughter will thank you when she grows up to be a productive member of society.”

Unfortunately, neither comment captures the truth, since Abby went from smiling to crying in the time it takes for our crappy digital camera to ready the flash and to snap a picture. As parents, we cave to our daughter’s demands like thin strips of balsa wood catching a bowling ball thrown from a roof; what Abby wants, Abby gets, and only the immutable laws of physics limit how quickly we give it to her.

Abbyalcatraz: pink collar, roofless, island prison for infantile offenders.

Captured on the crawl and summarily convicted of tiredness, obstreperousness, and second-degree crankiness, Abigail Moore is hereby sentenced to serve a nap of 55 minutes with eligibility for parole after 30 minutes of good… or at least relatively quiet… behavior.