Not the floor, but not much better.
Many new parents try to keep the floor and their new infant separated by towels, blankets, or reasonably clean newspaper. Having infants on the floor is, ironically enough, comforting to new parents, since one of the recurring nightmares new parents face is the vision of their child falling from any of the myriad of high altitude perches at which children spend their early days (cribs, hopelessly under-reinforced bouncy chairs, countertops, local bars, black jack tables, human arms, etc.). Cultivating activities that originate and take place on the floor eliminates the worry that a child will arrive at the ground from height with speed, but as anyone who has had an untimely visit from the Department of Social Services will attest, there should really be an expanse of colorful, educational fabric between your child and whatever toxins and unholy essences call your floor home.
We use the cushy, pastel zoological mat pictured here, and at first glance it may appear to be entirely adequate for infant floor exercises. Once you’ve stared at it for a few unbroken hours (or at least the portions of the mat not covered by your motionless child when she refuses to do even one more head up or roll over), you may notice that the artist’s grasp of the animal kingdom is at best vaguely creationist, and at worst frankly dangerous to young, developing minds. It’s clear that whoever manufactured and distributed this “play and learn” mat never spent any time in the African bush and probably never consulted so much as a zoo, a library, or an animal cracker box.
A short list of animal kingdom errors should convince you to choose your mats with better discretion than our early effort documented here.
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Not the floor, but not much better. Let’s take a closer look at the gross zoological errors perpetuated on the young.
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Flying monkey? Maybe in Oz. Flying giraffe? I don’t think so.
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The rare, tuskless, peek-a-boo elephant harvesting poppies! A poacher’s nightmare!
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Giraffe-riding kneeless chimp? How convenient for Noah’s roundup!
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Pink-maned smiling jungle cat? When did lions become petting zoo critters?
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Toothbrush mohawked, pink toed, flower eating zebra? Surely this is a herd of no more than one.
